Use your words

Have you ever wanted to say something but didn’t know exactly how to get your idea across? You know what you’re feeling or thinking but can’t find the words you need to convey what you mean? Expression is extremely personal and sometimes it’s very difficult to find the perfect words to translate your thoughts and expectations to the person you’re communicating with. This can be extraordinarily important in the wedding planning process. Here are some key points that can help you communicate more effectively with your wedding professionals, your wedding party, and with others in general.

1.       What do you really mean to say?

What is the big idea that you’re trying to get across? When you begin it’s helpful to have an end in mind. When meeting with specific vendors it’s imperative to make your expectations known. I read recently that people can’t be expected to meet an expectation that they don’t know you have. Make a list. What do you want your vendor to know? Take that list when you meet with them so that while you have their full attention you can go over your key points and questions to maximize time and ensure that you’re happy with the outcome of that vendor’s work on your wedding.

2.       What is the other person “hearing”?

While you’re communicating take a moment to think about whether the person is “hearing” what you’re “saying”. Sometimes we’re communicating in a certain style because of our personality or natural inclinations but midstream we realize that the other person doesn’t seem to be “getting it”. I’m reading a book which says that it’s not what we say, it’s what other people hear that matters. Are you communicating in a way that ensures the other person is grasping your main points and expectations? If not, you may need to pause and take a moment to think of a different way to communicate your idea that helps the other person grasp your concept better. With many vendors pictures can also help in this area. Bring photos, magazine clippings, or internet printouts of what you like and what you dislike to ensure you and your vendor have the same mental picture of what you’re asking for.

3.       It’s ok to say, “I don’t understand. Could you explain that to me?”

Especially with vendors that are very creative or very technical you may hear language that you don’t understand. Or they may be communicating a concept that you’re not following. It’s ok to stop them and ask questions. I think many brides fear that they will frustrate a vendor by asking questions. On the contrary, it’s very encouraging when a bride takes the time to be excited, involved and inquisitive. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification on a concept or process you don’t understand. Investing the extra time to make sure you understand will be beneficial to both you and your vendor.

I once overheard a mother speaking with her small child. The little boy was so excited about what he wanted to tell his Mom that he was having trouble stringing together a sentence. His Mom put her hand on his arm lovingly, looked in his eyes, and said, “It’s ok honey, use your words.” Sometimes adults are the same way, we get so excited that we might have trouble choosing our words to communicate a phenomenal idea. At Treasures it’s our goal to communicate clearly with you and help you understand the entire process involved in selecting, ordering, altering, and wearing your gown. It’ll be helpful to you to set a goal to communicate as effectively as possible with your wedding vendors, guests, family, and those you come in contact with daily. The key point: Use your words.